TO DO LIST!!

  1. Survive this hangover, just get through today one step at a time and try not to throw up or have a panic attack! Try to stay awake and positive and don’t think too much about last night, the little you can remember of it. Try to forget because residing in the unclear, unordered scenes, depicting some stranger you barely recognize using your name, is the intense all consuming paranoia that you exiled years ago, waiting to infect you again. (I must have brought the stranger home because he was staring at me from across the sink this morning, his skin was pale and his body was shaking!) 
  2. Drown the irritating, time consuming, new-born puppy that is your social media addiction before it grows too large to hold underwater and actually start writing for this blog regularly instead of convincing yourself that playing Hashtag games on twitter counts as “promotion”.    
  3. Cancel your plans for tonight. (I feel too much like that squirrel who lost a game of chicken with my dads car the other week to think of a witty response when my friends call me a “POOF” for not drinking during the pub quiz! Why do we as a society penalize and scold each other for not drinking past our limits, why do you care how drunk I am, worry about how drunk you are, worry about making sure you don’t vomit, do/say things you’ll regret, or wake up too unwell to make it to the bathroom without collapsing)
  4. Get a FUCKING hair cut!, you haven’t shaved for two weeks either, you just look…. truly awful!
  5. Finally learn your lesson and follow through with all those empty promises you make to yourself the mornings after the nights before when your scrubbing vomit, blood or worse of off your bed sheets and wanting to puke out every last drop of the poison you swallowed last night and every piece of the person you allowed yourself to become. If being consoled by your Ex as you sit on the pavement crying because your favourite club refused you entry is a scenario that ever repeats itself you really need to review your decision making process and wonder if pride and maturity are feelings you have ever truly earned.
  6. RECOGNIZE YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!!! RECOGNIZE you’ve been dependent on alcohol since you were 14 and always will be. RECOGNIZE your lonely. RECOGNIZE you’re not happy with where your life is right now! RECOGNIZE the weapons you created to defeat your depression last time have been rusting and the walls and defenses are sprouting weeds and crumbling. RECOGNIZE you’ve lost sight of yourself again!
  7. Get up tomorrow!
  8. Smile!
  9. Be yourself!
  10. Regain control of you life!
  11. Regain monopoly over your mind!
  12. DON’T LET YOURSELF STOP CARING AGAIN

………………….Also finish Crash Bandicoot 100%

keep in touch 

BB

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